It’s funny, this weekend I was thinking about blog topics I could write around self-doubt and a time where I let self-doubt get the better of me, without realising what I was doing.
Whilst I was thinking about all of this, I was also thinking ‘I don’t want to take part in the trail series on Sunday,’ ‘I know where it is, and I know those hills are really big,’ ‘They’ve put out weather warnings and you have to carry a full safety gear kit…’ ‘I’ve never done anything like this before.’
Only now, once I have finished the race, do I realise how ridiculous I was being. I was even expressing my worry to my other half who kept telling me I’d be fine because I’ve done tougher races before and done great!
I spent 2/3 days worrying about nothing. Yes, the hills were big, yes it was hard, yes it was cold and not ideal to carry the safety gear. But it was amazing. The decent coming down Stanton Moor (if you’ve never been to see the Nine Ladies, it’s a beautiful walk looking onto the Peak District) was so exhilarating. Embracing the ankle-deep mud, I was running through was so much fun. Yes, I said fun!
And to think I didn’t sleep much for worrying about it, just because it was something new? What was I afraid of? Getting lost? How irrational, there were signs everywhere! (And it’s my home turf.)
I didn’t think I doubted myself much until this situation and I’m now going to work on being conscious to this happening again and reassure myself that I can absolutely do it. And even if I at least try and do my best, at least I tried! We don’t have to be perfect all the time!
So, I definitely learned a lesson in turning self-doubt into self-belief this weekend. Have you ever found yourself similar situation?